and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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