Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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