apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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