I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
