Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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