Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
