There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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