Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
