DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
