i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
