I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
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He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
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Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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