Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
