Nicole vs. Life
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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