this beer tastes like vomit already
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize