The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize