I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
