I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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