Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Dignity is for republicans.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
