Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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