I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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