Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
