this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
