I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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