Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
