You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
