he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Your cock deserves a montage
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
