I think i peed on brittanys purse
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
