did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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