we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize
