Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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