How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Houston, we have a squirter
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize