I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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