my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
