drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
