Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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