I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
