I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
