And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize