it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
