i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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