Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Randomize
