Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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