Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
