She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize