My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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