I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
this will be a night to untag.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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