i can't believe i had my finger in that
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize
