I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
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you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
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Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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