The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize