You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
