Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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