TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
