I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Your penis caused this!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize