No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
