i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
