If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
