So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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