only if we run a train.
done.
the day after is always just damage control
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
