Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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