Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
