...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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