Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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