the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
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